Where did I go right?

We know from the work of psychologists such as Freud and his successors that we seem to be almost programmed to take a critical view of ourselves. We tend to spend a lot of time asking, in that old phrase, ‘Where did I go wrong?’ But sometimes it is worth balancing this by asking ‘Where did I go right?’ because for many of us what we did right easily falls into the shadows and gets lost in our self-criticism.

This isn’t just self-congratulation—it’s self-appreciation. It’s a practice that encourages us to shine a light on the parts of us that are often overshadowed by our own harsh judgments. It has a ripple effect of positivity that starts with a simple, yet profound question.

Where did they go right?

Remembering where you went right can give you a welcome a break from endless fault finding. It can also help to ask ‘Where did they go right?’ about people who are important to us. We seem to live in an era of grumbling and fault-finding – at least that’s the impression I get from social media. But other people do things right also and maybe acknowledging this can help to lighten our emotional experience.

Build a habit

Give it a try, maybe next time you’re having a tea or coffee: ask ‘Where did I go right?’ and ‘Where did they go right?’ If you do this a few times when having a break, it could become a very positive habit. You could look on it as a very pleasant mindfulness exercise …

My online course True Friend will help you be more compassionate to yourself. Payment is by donation.