mindfulness news & tips
We hear a lot about resilience and with good reason. Perhaps we see it as putting up a hard shell to repel life’s misfortunes. But resilience isn’t necessarily a matter of toughing it out.
It’s often a matter of being kind to yourself – It’s a soft skill – and of treating yourself in a way that gets you through experiences in good shape.
Mindful awareness
So one aspect of resilience, for instance, might be mindful awareness. This means stepping aside from rumination, from going endlessly, over and over and over whatever it is that is troubling you. Coming into present moment awareness can give you a break from that and can give you space for other things in your life.
Self compassion
Another aspect is self compassion, which means being kind to yourself, treating yourself like a friend. This could include thinking back to times when you successfully got through difficulties, and realising that you can do that again.
It’s also a matter of realising that many other people are going through difficulties as well at the same time as you. This in itself can be comforting.
Affirmation
A third aspect of resilience – more of a tool for resilience, really – is to use an affirmation. There’s nothing mystical or magical about this. An affirmation is a better thought than the one you would otherwise be having.
Many people use the affirmation ‘Not happening now.’ Suppose you find your mind occupied by a disagreement at work and suppose these thoughts are interfering with your time for rest and recreation. Saying ‘Not happening now’ can help redirect your awareness to something different, in this case to that rest and recreation you need to help you to get through tough times. You may even find that solutions come into your mind following rest and recreation – but that’s a bonus.
Other affirmations include ‘This too will pass’ or ‘Whatever happens, I’ll handle it.’
So think of resilience as a form self care. It’s not about being a wave crashing against the rocks. It’s more like being a stream that can make its way between the rocks to a quieter place.
Learn more about self compassion in my online course True Friend. Payment is by donation.