We know acceptance is good for our mental health, for our general emotional well-being and for our long-term relationships. But how do you get to acceptance?
Stages of acceptance
Acceptance can include stages such as: Acknowledging something has happened while complaining internally in your mind about it. This reaction is natural and possibly even helpful at first but after a time it can keep much of the stress of the event alive.
Acknowledging that something has happened but silently, without getting into a dialogue or speechifying about it in your head. This allows the memory of the event to fade its own time. But it does so without you prolonging your stress.
Physical/Emotional memory
The emotional memory of an event, even when accepted, may still hurt or make you sad.We often feel emotions physically (in the stomach area for instance or around the heart, chest or throat). Neurons in the stomach and heart communicate with, among other places, the emotional centre of the brain.What you can do is to acknowledge and feel the physical feeling just on its own while not talking to yourself about it. After a time, the feeling begins to fade.
Some emotional memories, I should add, take a long time to fade but even still, this approach can help you. In such a case, if you find it stressful to use this approach, set it aside if you need to.
Acceptance is often an act of self compassion and you can learn more in the True Friend online course on self compassion. Payment is by donation so it’s affordable to all.