Mindfulness

http://https://youtu.be/oLAGdNt2av8

From reaction to response for better choices

The concept of the Cycle of Reaction can help us to appreciate and enjoy some important benefits of mindfulness practice in our everyday life. In particular it shows us how mindfulness helps us to get better at moving from reaction to response.

The sequence works like this:

The Cycle of Reaction sequence

Many times a day things happen to which we have a reaction. For instance, someone who did me a bad turn walks into a restaurant where I am about to have dinner.

I react to this with thoughts, memories, emotions and physical feelings. I tense up, I feel angry at their presence, how dare they even be here, I think, as I recall what they did.

I am now relating to all of those things going on in my head and in my body, namely the memory, thoughts, physical tensing and so on and not just to the bare reality of what has happened. I have forgotten about my dinner and I am lost in my anger about this person. But all that has actually happened is that a person I have reason to dislike has walked into the restaurant.

The next stage in the cycle is that I act under the influence of my reactions. In other words I act on autopilot if you like. So, for instance, I may tell myself that the whole occasion is now ruined, and leave the restaurant. Then I spend the evening thinking and complaining about this person while feeling upset.

A better response

When you practise mindfulness you build your capacity to notice these reactions before they take over.

Then you can choose a response, whether that is to do nothing or to act.

So in this case, when that person walks into the restaurant you notice your thoughts and feelings, etc flaring up. But instead of getting lost in those reactions, you bring your attention to your breath or perhaps to the experience of your body sitting in the chair. In this way you avoid that trance state.

Now, instead of being in a trance, you can consider what choices you have in the situation. These still include leaving but they also include staying and getting on with your dinner, or maybe even talking to the person. I am not saying that one response is better than the other but at least it’s a chosen response. When you act in mindfulness you are more likely to choose a response which is in your interests. Also, in my experience, you are more likely to feel good about whatever response you do choose.

And it doesn’t just apply to “live” scenes like the one I’ve used in the example. The “something” that happens to start the sequence could be a memory. For instance it could be the memory of the bad turn that this person has done. That, again, can throw you into that circle of reactions, trance and behaviour – the behaviour in this case could be to lie awake at night going over what happened. Instead, whenever the memory strikes you, you can observe these reactions kicking off, and you can step back into awareness of breath or body.

This is one of the ways in which mindfulness practice can bring a greater experience of peace into your life.

The above article is an edited extract from my 15 lesson online course Easy Mindfulness. Payment for the course is by donation. More information

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Negative thoughts about events old and new or about what’s coming up in the future can easily harm our peace of mind. When such thoughts are occurring more often than is useful, try using a phrase such as ‘Not happening now’ to sidestep the thought, to park it, so to speak , while you turn your attention to whatever is going on for you in the moment. That might just be your breathing or whatever else you are physically doing.

Rude interruption

If, for example, someone interrupts you rudely in a shop queue and you didn’t have a chance to object, that interruption can return to your mind many, many times. You re-run the scene, you say in your head what you wish you said in reality to the interrupter and so on.

Sticky thoughts

After you’ve had these thoughts a few times you might want to drop them but they’re ‘sticky’ – they keep coming back to bother you (I’m assuming that in real life you won’t be able to make your objections clear to this person who may be a stranger who has vanished into the crowd.)

Staying in the moment for any length of time can become more difficult because of the re-running of these thoughts. In other words it makes it harder to practise mindfulness. And such thoughts can come between you and your sleep.

The tactic that works

For me the tactic that helps is to use a phrase like ‘Not happening now’ to interrupt the thought when it comes back and then get on with whatever it is I’m doing. If the thought stays around for a while, I don’t get involved with it – I just say ‘Not happening now’ and go back to whatever else I’m doing.

It’s a simple tactic that works better the more you use it as your brain associates the phrase with moving past the thought.

To build on this: My online course Easy Mindfulness can help you to develop a life-enhancing mindfulness practice.

See also: Return again and again to the moment – video

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Catharine Hannay’s book, Being You – Mindfulness for Girls, is reviewed by Lily Bennett (13)

‘Being You’ is a girl’s guide to mindfulness. Written by Catharine Hannay, this book is targeted at young/teenage girls. 

It has a clear understanding of its target audience, with the writing a perfect mix of education and entertainment. 

Home and outdoor activities

The activities are a combination of things you can do at home and outdoor activities, and a few encourage healthy eating and exercising. Each chapter focuses on different topics, such as ‘empathy and compassion’, ‘savouring pleasant moments’ amongst many others.

It’s laid out in a very easy to read manner, with large headings and not so much information that it gets cluttered. The book itself is easy to read as well, because of the balance of information and personal stories.

The book includes  input and quotes from girls in the targeted age range, and I thought it was helpful to see what other girls my age were going through and how I related.

“I thought it was helpful to see what other girls my age were going through and how I related.”

Rainbow walk

One of my favourite activities was the ‘Rainbow Walk.’

• In this, you go on a walk and try to see one object for every colour of the rainbow.

It was interesting looking at my surroundings more closely than I did before on walks, and it helped keep my mind off other things, such as people looking at me when I walk with my headphones and the noises of the construction that goes on beside my usual walk.

Even though finding something for every colour of the rainbow sounds easy, it can get harder when you get to more vibrant colours, which makes for an entertaining walk. 

Another thing it did was make me walk for longer as I was preoccupied with looking for the rainbow objects and not so focused on how far I was walking. 

What kind of conversation?

Another of my favourite activities was called ‘what kind of conversation do I want?’. This focuses on planning out difficult conversations before they take place, in the form of a script. This simple exercise helped immensely with knowing what to say during the conversation, even if the other person didn’t ‘follow the script’. During difficult conversations, people tend to freeze up and blank on what to say, but with planning your conversations out beforehand, you at least have a basic grasp on what you need to get across. See below for how to do this activity.

‘This simple exercise helped immensely with knowing what to say’

Breathing

The exercises in Chapter Five focused on breathing. It was interesting to go through all of them and see which one worked best for me. None of them needed any preparation beforehand, they were all easy to remember and the instructions were clear and easy to comprehend. Examples are ‘One Minute Mindful Breathing’, ‘Counting the Breath, and ‘Flower and Bubble Breathing’. I would definitely use them in the future if needed. See below for instructions.

Summary

Overall, this book was very good, especially for teenage girls going through stressful situations. It includes plenty of activities for anyone to do. I found it very helpful and I’d definitely recommend it to anyone looking for a mindfulness book of this type.

Some exercises

Flower and bubble breathing

• Breathe in, imagining you are smelling a flower. Count to three while breathing in.
• Hold your breath for a count of four.
• Breathe out through your mouth, imagining you are blowing bubbles.
• Count to five while breathing out.

(originally from Letting go, a girl’s guide to breaking free of stress and anxiety by C. Fonseca)

Another way to count the breath

• Breathe in slowly, saying ‘Breathing in, one” Then breathe out slowly saying ‘Breathing out one.” Repeat this, changing the number to two and continue to seven. 

What kind of conversation do I want?

• Think about an important or difficult conversation that you need to have with someone, perhaps a teacher or one of your parents. Write answers to the questions in your journal […]
• How do you feel about having this conversation?
• What would you like to say to this person?
• What would you like this person to say or not say to you during this conversation?
• What would you like this person to do or not to do during or after this conversation?

One minute of mindful breathing

• Set a timer for 60 seconds.
• Sit in an upright but comfortable posture.
• Close your eyes if that seems comfortable to you. (If you prefer you can look at a spot on the wall or the floor).
• Focus on your ordinary, normal breathing.
• When your mind wanders gently bring your attention back to your breath. (It’s completely normal for your mind to wander even within 60 seconds).

See also: Mindfulness for Students

Page image by Image by Daria Nepriakhina

In 2014, Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield interviewed me on Good Morning Britain on ITV about mindfulness following the publication of Mindfulness on the Go. At the time, interest in mindfulness was taking off in Britain. The video is about 10 minutes long which, in 2020 internet terms, is like a century. If you stay in the ‘now’ while you’re watching, the time will fly!

My 15-lesson online course Easy Mindfulness can give you a comprehensive introduction to mindfulness and complements the book though you don’t need the one to enjoy the other.

For the past few weeks I’ve been presenting corporate mindfulness events on Zoom or similar platforms. These have included a mindfulness presentation for a state agency, a workshop for students on a post-graduate university business course and a shorter presentation, recorded and to be provided as a resource, to clients of a HR agency. One public body is making my 15-lesson online course Working Well Mindfully available to staff.

The questions people ask and the reasons they give for doing these courses are the same as for non-corporate courses, in other words courses for the general public.They want to reduce stress and anxiety, enjoy greater calm and positivity and free themselves from repetitive painful thinking (going over old resentments and regrets and exaggerated pessimistic thoughts of the future). They also want to be less distracted in their work, to maintain a good balance between work and home and to drop excessive thinking about work.

What this brings home to me is that people in ‘work mode’ are the same human beings inside work and at home. Workplace programmes that enhance wellbeing are valuable in a holistic way – they improve quality of life in general and not only from nine to five.

Workplace mindfulness programmes have been shown to reduce stress and burnout. These two afflictions, (stress is an affliction when you have too much of it too much of the time) get in the way of efficient working – try making a calm choice when you’re stressed out – and also take much of the good out of life after hours.

Workplace mindfulness can address these issue for those who take part. And I would argue that even those who don’t take part benefit from the greater calm of their colleagues.

Sounds like a win-win to me.

Read more on my workplace mindfulness courses here

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During the present upsurge of interest in mindfulness, I am often asked what course one needs to do to become a mindfulness teacher. My reply is that currently there is no generally recognised or required route into the general teaching of mindfulness in Ireland or the UK – no clear path in other words. The situation is probably the same in most other countries.

In my view, people who teach mindfulness should have practised it for some time, meaning years rather than months, should have attended courses and workshops in mindfulness and should have read widely in it –  but none of these is a requirement laid down by anybody.

My Professional Certificate in the Therapeutic Use of Mindfulness is aimed at people who want to incorporate mindfulness into the work they are already qualified do with individuals or groups e.g. counselling, nursing, psychology, coaching, hypnotherapy, HR etc. While it is not specifically a teaching course I know that people who teach mindfulness have found it helpful. It is a short course, three days spread over two weeks, and I present it for the Institute of Integrative Counselling and Psychotherapy.

If you are in search of a specific teaching course you could look at courses run by The Sanctuary (www.sanctuary.ie) or by Bangor University in Wales (http://www.bangor.ac.uk/mindfulness). University College Dublin has, or has had, a Masters in Mindfulness Based Interventions. If you are in the UK (where there is also no requirement for specific training) you could check out courses run by Oxford, Bangor, Exeter and Aberdeen universities. The Oxford University training page is at this link. You’ll also find various shorter workshops on offer at Oxford.

Naturally, to teach specific applications such as  Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, you would need to have done the training for that specific application so my remarks above refer to the general teaching of mindfulness to groups or individuals.

Coventry University has an MSc in Mindfulness and Compassion which it says will equip students to pursue careers allied to mindfulness. More at this link.

(Page updated April 2020)

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To make mindfulness part of your day think of building a mindfulness habit. Habits get things done. So here is a menu of seven mindfulness practices/habits from which I suggest you choose a couple to make part of your daily routine:

1. Choose a short mindfulness practice you can use every day or several times a day.

For instance, notice the sensation of your breath at your nostrils for the length of three in-breaths and three out-breaths. Even in this short space of time, your attention will drift; bring it back to your breath calmly and without self-criticism.

2. Try a little acceptance at the start of the day.

Mindfulness has two major aspects: returning your attention from mind-wandering to the present moment; and practising acceptance. Briefly look over what you are going to have to do today and accept it. This could include an annoying task or an unpleasant meeting or any of the other challenges in our day. Just accept it. Try to do this at a set time, for instance before you get out of bed in the morning, before breakfast and so on.

3. Make a “no problem solving” period part of every day.

We have an addiction to mulling over problems and this exiles us from the present moment. Set a short period every day during which you promise not to solve a single problem in your life! During that time you will find it much easier to be present and mindful. Good times for this? During meals, when commuting or tidying for instance.

4. Find your anchor point.

The “anchor point” is a practice or sensation that anchors you to mindfulness and helps you come back when you find yourself wandering off in your mind. Examples are: the sensation of your breath against your nostrils; the feeling of your feet against the floor, ground, or against the soles of your shoes; or the use of a silent word such as “returning.”

5. Do a body scan when you wake up at night.

When you wake up at night it’s all too easy to drift into worries or regrets. Instead, bring your attention to your body from your toes to the top of your head, in stages (for instance toes, feet, calves etc). Rest your attention on each area for the length of three in-breaths and out-breaths. When you find your mind has drifted, come back to wherever you had reached. Doing this mindfulness practice is far more restful than worrying about being awake – and it might even send you back to sleep!

6. Use a free mindfulness resource.

If you’re on Facebook, join my mindfulness group for a simple, unobtrusive way to remind yourself to be mindful during the year. Enter the name of the forum (Padraig O’Morain’s Mindfulness Forum) in your Facebook search box. It’s a closed group but if you click “join group” I’ll add you. Thousands of people receive a brief daily mindfulness reminder in their email from myself. It’s called The Daily Bell and you’ll find a sign-up box at the bottom of this page or at https://www.padraigomorain.com/daily-bell-padraig-omorains-daily-mindfulness-reminder.

7. Eat with awareness

Be aware that you are eating while you are eating. Pay attention to taste and texture and to the sensation of fullness. If you don’t already eat mindfully you will be surprised at how much of our eating is “mindless”. One way to practise mindful eating is to choose to be aware of your food for the first minute of every meal. This will then expand into a more general mindful eating practice.

My Easy Mindfulness online course will help you to build a mindfulness practice at your own pace. More …

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