We all have behaviours we want to change – even that we ought to change. Let’s call these ‘unwanted behaviours.’ In setting out to change unwanted behaviours, bear in mind the distinction between a true friend and an abusive critic. […]
The 3-part exercise In this short extract from my event on happiness in December 2021, I take you through the popular 444 breathing exercise with an imagined flow of calm. Paying attention to your breathing can be almost immediately calming […]
‘No regrets’ may be a fine name for a song but it won’t work in real life. To live is to accumulate regrets. What gives regrets their sharp edges is the belief that we could have made things work out […]
Accept how things are to change how things are Acceptance can sometimes feel like it’s a rather passive approach to take to things. But in fact sometimes acceptance is the first step towards fighting for change. For example, if you […]
That line, I don’t have to believe everything I think, jumped out at me from Elisha Goldstein’s 2010 post on PsychCentral’s Mindfulness & Psychotherapy blog, and it still holds true. Goldstein writes about a correspondent who, in the past, used […]
Like me, you probably have one or two things coming up today and tomorrow that you’d rather not have to deal with. Maybe they’re boring or maybe they just create a bit of anxiety. If you’re a person who puts […]
“We have a strong need to be on the way to some better moment, some better time when it all will come together for me. We can so easily become impatient and driven. Of course, this prevents us from being […]
We are often urged to practise gratitude to improve our well-being?
I once noticed that I felt happy when I was walking through the rain on a cold autumn day. That’s illogical – I don’t like cold rain – but I accepted it as a mysterious bonus and enjoyed the happiness. The experience taught me that when I’m in a good mood it’s probably not because life got better; when I’m in a low mood it’s probably not because life got worse.
We get lost in thoughts which repeat fears, anxieties, regrets and resentments. Very often these concern issues we can no longer do anything about because they are in the past or because they haven’t yet happened. In mindfulness we try to get good at coming out of this painful mind-wandering whenever we notice we are lost in it.
